10 Best Lines from Chappelle’s Show.

(* Warning: Contains harsh language and content that some people may find offensive.)


I miss Dave Chappelle . I really do.  He always had this big-ass smile when he performed that always made everything he said seem funnier. Clayton Bigsby, Tyrone Biggums, Rick James, Prince, Tron… No one could do characters like him. 

However, as much as i miss the man, I respect his reasons for suddenly dropping his popular show and a huge pile of fame and cash to go to South Africa to find himself. The gruelling schedule (20 hours/day) to keep the popular show running was burning him out and taking him away from his favourite thing, stand-up comedy. The cracks began to show by the second season. In a stand-up performance in Sacramento in 2004,  Chappelle walked off the stage when the audience kept yelling ” I’m Rick James Bitch! ”  from his very popular skit about singer Rick James. He said this to the crowd before he walked off:

“ You know why my show is good? Because the network officials say you’re not smart enough to get what I’m doing, and every day I fight for you. I tell them how smart you are. Turns out, I was wrong. You people are stupid.“

Anyways Dave, if you ever happen upon this post, know that you have true fans that miss you…and out of respect, i will leave out that famous of Rick James lines.

Below are ten lines from Chapelle’s Show that make me laugh my ass off because i can remember the skit like it was yesterday. I know i said ” The 10 Best Lines” but truthfully, that was just to draw you in…there is no way in hell that i could narrow this amount of gold down to the best of.

1. Tyrone Biggums: Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the
    hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high.      

2. [Clayton Bigsby's truck pulls up next to a group of white kids listening to rap]
     Clayton Bigsby: Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger!
     Woogie boogie!                      
     Hip-Hop Fan: Did he just call us niggers?… AWESOME!

3. Dave Chappelle: Knock-knock…
    Audience: Who’s there?
    Dave Chappelle: Some skits, biotch.

4. [after two women had showed him their breasts]
     Rick James: I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!

5. Charlie Murphy: The first thing I seen is O.J. Simpson, and I remember thinking to myself
    ‘wow, that’s O.J. Simpson, he has a big fucking head, man’.

6. Slave Master: You’d better watch your mouth!
     Buck Nasty: Yo, you’d better watch your’s, white boy, before I shove these ‘gators up
     your ass and show your insides some style.

7.  Dave Chappelle: Look, man, look. Michael Jackson has many faces – none of them
     look guilty to me. You gotta look in the eyes, not the noses.
     Prosecutor: He’s been accused of this more than once.
     Dave Chappelle: So? Some people say that cucumbers taste better pickled.
     Prosecutor: What?
     Dave Chappelle: Huh?
     Prosecutor: What?
     Dave Chappelle: Huh?

8. [P. Diddy hosts "Making the Band"]
     P. Diddy: All right, you guys ain’t working as a team. I’m gonna have to shut down the
     studio. The only way I’ll reopen the studio is if you go up to the Bronx, and get me some
     breast milk from a Cambodian immigrant.

9. Businessman: I’ll have a Samuel Jackson.
     Samuel Jackson: [shouts] Good motherfucking choice, motherfucker! Samuel Jackson!
     Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It’ll get ya drunk! You’ll be fucking fat girls
     in no time! You might even fight a nigga or two! Mmmm-mmm, bitch!
     [Jackson walks up to the businessman]
     Samuel Jackson: [shouts] How’s it taste, motherfucker?
     Businessman: Could you please stop yelling at me?
     Samuel Jackson: [shouts] No, I can’t stop yelling, ’cause that’s how I talk! Haven’t you
     seen my movies? “Juice” That was a good one! “Deep Blue Sea” They ate me! A
     motherfucking shark ate me! Drink up, bitch!

10. Charlie Murphy: Hey Prince, you got a towel? It’s kinda hot in here.
       Prince: Why don’t you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?